ASD Forum

Long time no comment but thought your situation deserved my attention.

Your partners will always be labelled incorrectly unless they see an ADHD specialist as set out in the NICE guidelines(National Institute for Clinical Excellence). Many of our symptoms are almost unrecognisable to a normal Psychiatrist because they are un educated in ADHD and the latest knowledge concerning "growing out of it" which is a virtual myth, so most of them assume it is something else if you are 30yrs+. A very small minority with mild ADHD can grow out of it, some accept it like "Ben Polis" and cope better, the rest of us need help or a great deal of understanding!

This is the man to listen to. I say that because My ADHD is severe and my IQ was 169 at age 9 so I am lucky to have the condition and still have the patience to listen to those that genuinely understand. But I have very little respect for most people generally. I can relate to almost 100% of what he says in the 2 lectures which are available on a well known website YOU all know.

search for "Management of ADHD" on that site.
Russell Barkley, Ph.D., discusses the recent advancements in understanding the nature and sub typing of ADHD (1hr 20min)

Also search for "ADHD: Life Course Outcomes and Treatment Implications".
Russell Barkley, Ph.D., focuses on what he terms the Milwaukee Study, which tracks the life course outcomes of individuals with ADHD, as well as covering issues that are to be studied in future. (1hour 20min)

Sorry I cannot put the direct link, but this site is paranoid and removes my posts with crucially helpful links to experts.

The frustration of an unsettled mind(constantly active and thinking about multiple things) displays it’s self in many ways. In children, they can have tantrums and smash up small things or people and won‘t do as they are told and can‘t remember what you said 5 minutes ago, whereas in adults the “embarrassment” of being frustrated comes out in many more ways. Hate, Resentment, Anger, Mistrust, Short Term Memory Loss caused by Anxiety which completes the circle and starts the whole downward spiral going again. Constantly feeling like this means it is easy for people to only see an ANGRY MAN rather than a frustrated embarrassed one. I expect your partners can have good parts to some days, but like I say, the first one of the above to happen in any day causes the day to be a right off as it is hard to step back and think sensibly once your brain is racing with internal rage.

I would be happy to answer any questions that you have after you have watched the Lectures to the best of my ability.

My heart goes out to you as you need to either be a Saint or just not care to cope with a partner with ADHD. I have married a Saint who loves me unconditionally and never judges me. She just takes the good with the bad, BUT only after I recovered from my Alcoholism. Your partners must remove Alcohol from their lives before they can do anything about the way they feel. Self medicating NEVER works for ADDers.


Good luck and I look forward to hearing from you if you find the time to watch the lectures.