ASD Forum

I apologise for lack of contact with the forum, its been I would say a whole year, I thought if I could try to stay away from forums and info etc, that maybe I would see it was a case of making things up, its sooo not!!!, and now I have reached low, I have come back to the only place that ever gave me comfort and some sense in it all, this forum has provided me with much comfort and Well I realize, that when you know something is wrong, dont talk yourself into its all you. My son Tyler is coming up to nine now, oh where do I start....?? as some of you may remember I moved back south last year, to help support my children and maybe see if things would help tyler, no,no, no...!!! Yes I am very happy with the move and dont regret it, but no tyler has more needs now as life is totally different, I did think about change but thought having my family would iron those wrinkles out, how foolish!!, I have had some success in getting a paediatrician, and after 2 and half hours of consultation, he had this words for me " I am sorry but I am going to drop a big bomb on your from an incredible height, I think your son is on the austic spectrum" who hoa!!!! someone as taken the time to listen to me, I actually did not say that I thought he was, I walked in head up high, armed with diarys, events and drawings etc, and a general summary of what life is like with tyler.., this impressed the doc, and so the consultation started, of which I will say I made sure he was listening, I am not a bully, but just at my wits, so yes I was very pushy for a change. we are awaiting the rest of his assessments and the doc is hoping he can provide a diagnosis by aug, we will see. in the mean time....
this is gonna be a long post....
since we moved, Tyler has...
progressively become very violent with his sister.
Answers back even if he is told off, until you are literally screaming at him( i dont actually scream, I am a silent screamer).
made a million friends, then lost them.
been bullied every single day.
developing obsessions with death and all ugly things.
totally stripped his bedroom of all possessions and clothes, cos then it doesnt confuse him.
tried 7 different after school activities, of which all he has been booted out.
food is a huge obsession, more food, more food, then I cant eat beans cos I fart, I can eat melted cheese etc,
self harming , i.e digging poles into tummy, extreme biting and banging his head.
starting to run away.
having more emotional breakdowns, every week.
become extremly hyper.
not listening,
shouting at everyone including strangers.
making more noises.
lying all the time.
doesnt hardly play, and constantly saying he is bored.

I could go on but I would like to say that although these are all severe and pretty much a day to day thing, he has some positives.

Questioning things to find more answers.
making an effort to be responsible for his minimal bedroom.
school work is above average on most subjects.
he is helpful to younger children at school.
he is truthful at school when he has done something wrong.
he has taken up violin ( shock...!!! considering his deafness too).
he is opening up to me more, and trying to understand himself.
he enjoys being on own at school, and accepts that, therefore becomes happy.
if I ask him to help with chores, he does it with pride.
He has become more creative.


Its really hard to see the positives when things are always so bad, but I try to remind myself of what he has achieved, and knowing his problems, they are all big achievements.
Unfortunatly it still doesnt change that I am crying everyday for him, and I am soo confused how to help him, and keep calm in the family, my partner and me drift because of this.
I wanted to go back to work, but everytime I comsidered it, I just knew that until I get this dealt with I wont be able to, I feel isolated and trapped, I want to let my feelings out, As most all people will probably feel, I feel like I am alone on this, I do however amongst all this have enough strength to fight for tyler, I will do anything to make sure I can give tyler a happy home and a happy self. I am sorry that I may sound bitter and a little bit twisted, I think I am going through that phase, I am sure you all know what I am talking about.
anyway if anyone reads this, dont be disheartened, I am merely having an off time, and it gives me total joy to know that, my kids are healthy and they know I love them, I will always stand by and support them, by any means possible. it just gets you low sometimes, and that unfortuantly is the reality of having children, and especially with some form of special need.
Hope everyone is well.xxx

Hi Jac I hope since you have posted this that things have calmed down a little for you and maybe you have the reports back?

I have not posted on here for a while and I think that it's the nature of sites like this that you really on check into when there is a problem or you need to sound off and know that people reading this won't judge you.